Wash Away Those Years
by Akira Sieghart
Summary: All those times I ran from you, all those times I left you alone to worry… I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you more than anything in this world but I couldn't trust you. It was impossible for me to trust anybody..."


**Wash Away Those Years**

**Hello again! This is another one-shot that I will be sharing with you all.**

**Now, there's a bit of a warning... PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS if you have a weak heart, stomach, or conscious!**

**This is probably the saddest and most depressing thing that I have ever written, in fact, I didn't write it all by myself.**

**Anyway, please, read at your own risk.**

**Also, this was NEVER meant to be an Alvin and the Chipmunks fanfic! It was loosely based off of someone who is close and dear to me, and I tried my best to make it seem like my two favorite characters from the series...**

**I think you can guess who they are... ^^**

**ENJOY! And as always, REVIEW!**

**P.S: The song that inspired me to write this fanfic was "Wash Away Those Years" by Creed.**

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**Her P.O.V**

He stroked my hair softly and I felt the tears rolling uncontrollably down my face. I felt so safe in his arms, so comforted by his touch, so naked and bare beneath his eyes. For that one moment in his cocoon, I was immortal.

I didn't have to speak to him, he understood. I didn't have to repeat myself, he listened. I didn't have to worry, he was silent. The words I had never dared to speak, the story I had never dared to tell, the wrongs I had never dared to right were now echoing in the still air of the den. I didn't know what struck a chord that morning but as the sun seeped through the heavy drapes and the nightmares that haunted me woke me up again, I knew I had to tell somebody. Not just anybody, I had to tell him.

I flipped open my cell phone and dialed the number I knew by heart. As I patiently waited for him to answer, thoughts raced through my head. How was he going to take it? Would he see me differently? Would he hate me? All the questions made my head start to hurt, and before I knew it, I heard a voice through the phone.

"Hello?" I heard his voice ask.

"Hi, it's me… w-we need to talk…" I said, hesitating as I tried to get the words out correctly.

"When? Where?" He asked.

"Over at your place?" I asked him, my tears on the verge of breaking through.

"Sure." He answered before I hung up the phone.

I gradually made my way over to his home, those questions still lingering in my mind, those nightmares still haunting me. But I tried my best to shake them off. I knew that I was going to break down, but I needed to be in someone's embrace when I did. No. Not anyone's embrace… his embrace. As I finally reached his home, he opened the door before I knocked, as he knew I was coming and as I flung myself into his arms sobbing hysterically, he caught me and held me until I slept and woke.

My voice was cracked and torn and my head was throbbing in pain of the memories. "There's something I have to tell you."

He nodded and in one hand held mine and in the other held the Kleenex. He whispered something of comfort and my heart calmed down as I collected my breath.

"All those times I ran from you, all those times I left you alone to worry… I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you more than anything in this world but I couldn't trust you. It was impossible for me to trust anybody. It's not fair that you had to be the one I fell for, it's not fair that you have to be the one to suffer my impossible demands, it's not fair that you have to be the one to pick up the pieces of me, it's not fair," I began sobbing again. "It's not fair, it's not fair, it's just not fair…" I had fallen to pieces again.

He grasped my hands tightly with his and waited for me to calm down. I could barely see him through my swollen red eyes but I could feel the concern emitting from his bright eyes. "I didn't do anything wrong," I began again. My voice sounded so strange to me. So strained and afraid – it reminded me of that night. It was the same voice. "He struck me. That was the first thing he did. He struck me across my face, he was so angry. I had never seen anybody that angry before. He hit me again and again until I couldn't see anymore." I could feel the stinging burn of his right fist across my face, burning humiliation back into the skin that had been torn open by his cruelty again. I closed my eyes and stopped speaking, the pain overtaking my body.

I began to tremble and the dark shadows played over and over in my head. He hit me once, twice, three times, four times, five times... over and over until my eyes were glued shut with tears and blood and my head was so overcrowded with pain I couldn't stand anymore. I fell into a corner.

"I can't… I tried to speak again. "He hit me so hard. I couldn't stop him, I couldn't stop screaming. I fell down in a corner. I remember the cement wall hitting me hard on the back. I could barely feel it past the burning in my face…" The words were struggling to find their way out of my mouth. I could feel his hands around my throat again. "He choked me. He choked the pain out of me; he choked me until I couldn't breathe anymore. He choked me like I was an object; he choked me until I couldn't scream. He choked me…" I began gagging again. Just like I had gagged seven years ago. I could feel my hands hitting hard against the cement wall, over and over, pounding for help until I didn't have control over my hands anymore. "Until he choked the control away from me…"

I felt his hands holding mine tightly, reminding me of the present, reminding me he was with me now. "I couldn't stay awake anymore," I continued. "I tried but I couldn't. A dark sleep came over me..." I stopped. "I remember hearing footsteps before I fell unconscious. I thought help was coming. I really believed..." I released his hand and buried my face in mine. I shook my head repeatedly, my body shaking in convulsions. "I believed they were coming to help me, I thought they had heard me screaming… But when I woke up again…"

Four shadows… his friends. My friends. A hand rose… to help me? A hand fell… on my head. Five men… my enemies. Beating me, kicking me, taunting me in and out of consciousness. When I could see, all I could see was hatred. When I could hear, all I could hear were their plans. When I could feel, all I could feel was humiliation. In those hours of wake and sleep, I had died and I had lost all faith.

"They hated me," I whispered as the figures in my mind continued to land blows on me. "He hated me for not sleeping – for not fucking him. They hated me for being better than them. They all hated me; they all wanted me dead. They were supposed to help me." My voice was dying. "They hated me so much. I never knew." My head was becoming groggy. "I laid there in a heap on the floor and for a few hours of my life, I don't know what happened. When I woke up, finally, hours later… they were on me."

I could feel their dirty hands crawling over my skin again. I could hear their cruel voices whispering obscenities, yelling cruel commands as they stole my dignity. I could feel them touching me in places that shouldn't be touched, invading places that shouldn't be entered. "He raped me… they all raped me… they all fucked me until I couldn't breathe, until I was unconscious again. They fucked me like a doll; they fucked me because I was too weak. They fucked me until I sobbed, they fucked me until I bled, and they fuck me until I was dead. They fucked me while I cried, they fucked me while I screamed, and they fucked me while they laughed." I was screaming again. I was yelling for the wrongs they did to me. "They took away all that I was; they took away all that I am."

Their hands, their voices, their smell... the nightmares that would last forever. I see them every night, I see them every day, and I feel them all the time, raping me again, destroying me again. "It wasn't fair…"

My voice left me and I rested my head against the sofa, the nightmare engulfing me again. "There were five of them …" I whispered. I could barely hear myself. "And only one me. They hated me and I trusted them. Do you know what I did? I sang to myself in my mind. I sang songs I never knew. I imagined it wasn't happening. I sang and I ignored. I left my body." My voice wasn't even a whisper as I told him. "I tried to stop crying... I tried to sing the tears away but the tears came anyway." The tears were coming as I spoke. "I couldn't stop crying." I was crying again.

"I fell unconscious again and when I finally woke up, they were gone. All that was left was my empty body. I was lying in a pool of my own blood. I remember opening my eyes and seeing the darkness around me. I couldn't move." I was calm again; I could speak slowly and strongly again. "Somebody finally found me. I was put in the hospital for a week. They said I was 'lucky to be alive'." My voice dripped with bitterness. "I would have been happier dead."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. He had been crying. He was crying for me. I reached up and brushed his tears away.

"But I'm happy I lived now." I rested myself in his arms. "I have you now."

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**His ****P.O.V**

I had always known something was disturbing her. I always knew something in her past was haunting her, but I had never expected it to be so violent, so brutal, or so horrible. As she told me her story and I watched her relive it, I wanted to rip those bastards apart, dick to nose, and fight for what they never should have taken from her.

Five people against one, beating them to death, raping them to shame… I can't understand. All I can do now is hold her close and hope that as our tears mingle together, we can wash away the pain of the silent years that have gone by since the violence.

All I can do now... is love her...

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And that's the end.

**In case you haven't figured it out, it was Alvin and Brittany.**

**Contrary to most of my stories, this one doesn't have much of a happy ending...**

**I've seen mainy fanfics about rape on FanFiction, and I just wanted to help address this issue...**

**Rape is a very horrible thing and is one of the worst things that can happen to a women during their lives...**

**Please, help stop the abuse.**

**Please make a visit to "http: // www. raap. org / get_involved /help. html" (Remove spaces) to see how you can help!**

**Thank you and I hope you enjoyed the story... at least a little...**


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